Lost. Life.

Simon's brother, his best friend, is dead.


~pause.          a long while~




Those are words that should never be written.  This is a life that should never be lost.

I am so sorry.

For his parents.  Who love their boys with every tiny bit of their hearts, and show it so openly.  Who are so accepting and caring and would do anything for him.  I don't know a more supportive family.  Matt knew he was so loved.

For everyone waiting the past week while he was missing, hoping that every truck driving by would be him coming home, or every time the phone rings it would be him.  Just wanting a break to clear his mind.  We never fathomed it could end like this.

For Jenny, Matt's long time partner.  Who lived with his struggles the last months and tried to help him out of them.  How do you see this coming?  How can this reconcile with athletic, dry humored, hard-working, gentle Matt?

For Riley, who no longer has an uncle.  What happened to the treehouse plans?

For Simon, who has seen this dark road and was trying so hard to steer him off it.  Who lost his idol.  Who no longer has his most respected sounding board.  Who adores his brother.  Matt would do anything for Simon.  Simon is broken with grief.


For Matt.

For Matt, for having to go where no-one ever should.  For the torment that he's been through the last two months.  He would have known exactly how much hurt this would cause, and how much love he had, and still had to stop the pain.  That's agony.

I'm so sorry Matt.

For everyone who never saw this coming. 

Matt didn't do this.  A horrible depression did.  An illness that until three months ago had never warned its existence.  A life that this summer was anyone's envy, to life lost. I didn't know this was possible.

Peace be with you Matt.  I hope the torment has stopped.

Peace be with you Matt.  Its okay now. 

Peace be with you Matt.  We miss you.

Peace be with you Matt.