One year

... since Tye died and I can only still say What?!  Tiny?  My Tiny?  But he was so strong!  What do you mean he his heart failed?  He was 32 and had a sixpack and he was a freaking ox.  I don't get it.  Was there anything else?  Are you sure?  But in the end it doesn't matter 'cause he's gone and Vani's never met him and Riley will never know his crazy uncle.  Or Matt.  And Si and my dad don't have their catalyst for crazy funny talk.  We talk about practical things now, like renovations and gardening (Tessa topics), instead of the jiggler 2000 awesomest ever inventions, and shoe goo (Tye topics), and somehow the colours aren't quite as bright. 

Its so strange 'cause we never saw him dead.  We only found out a week later. He died while traveling and we never found his stuff, just his daypack from the scooter.  He had just left SAfrica and had gotten rid of everything.  We literally have a few pairs of his shorts and flipflops and thats it.  Seriously.  And then I hope it was just a crazy conspiracy theory and he didn't actually die but I know its pointless and then I'd just be cross at him 'cause where the hell is he and how could he do that to us then.  So I guess this is actually better.  Just hard.

It's been a tough week, I'm worn down at work.  I want more time, with my kids, my brother, my parents, Simon, everyone!  For myself.